Its been a while i didn't use English as my blog language, that's because i don't have the so call 'feel' that u used to have in the last few years. The so called 'feel' that i have will come to my heart when i think of my sweet and pain memories and listen to love songs at the same time. I tried to find that feel back but its gone and is not the same feeling ever again.
That's because last time i used to be a lover boy, a naive lover boy who thinks if i use all my heart to love a girl i will eventually succeed. Well, it did succeed eventually but it did not last long. I used too much of my heart to love a girl and forgot to love myself, causing "lack of love" for myself.
Until now, i did not like or love a girl as much compare to last time, maybe i'm a coward, maybe i'm not her cup of tea or vice verse. Whatever the reason is, i don't wish to love a girl right now because of the reality of the future that i have to face, money. Very sure i have enough money for myself in the future because i consider myself not a big spender compare to others, but what if i have a girlfriend and turns out she ends up be my wife.
Now, the million dollar question, will i have enough money to support my family? (if i have one), will i have enough time to accompany them? will i have enough knowledge to lead my family?. My friend always ask me why i need to think those problems that haven't or never exist in the first place. I have to be at least aware of it right?. Don't think the problems doesn't mean it won't come to me.
I have to admit my future post maybe will be more in reality and less in fantasy as i getting more realistic than ever. Maybe sounds a bit weird but that's the thing that keep's me moving on. So, another day folks!!!
