To someone, please don't give up

Day by day pass by,
the string start to get stronger and tighter,
nobidy know how to hard to cut it and nobody will,
only the 2 owners of the string know how,
as days pass longer,
1 of the owner want to cut it because only the owner know why,
but the other owner don't wish to cut it and wish to continue that way
so the other owner choose to stay, for now.
Now, i wish the 2 owner will try everything to make the string more stronger and more tighter,
and don't have the will to cut it.
Gambateh both of you.

Please don't make it happen

I feel something will gonna happen,
something that i never wish to happen in my life,
because if it happens, a tragedy will happen at the same time,
so, i wish that thing just stay thay way,
nothing more, nothing less, just like that.
maybe i think too much, i think it is
therefore, for the last time,
i wish that thing will never happen, ever.

Don't fence for win, fence for the right way

Today is the 1st day i train with Adam. I feel very pleased because i learnt so many things from him. Especialy the marshe, jump, lunge. Is a new trick for me. But i still can't catch the proper method to do it. Altough very tired, i get used to it these feeling already.

When i'm think i'm a bit better on the footwork, actually i don't. Why? Because when i 'sparing' with Kimberly, she said i had so many mistake. I very nervous, especialy my footwork, not good enough. She told me don't think about win, think about your basic, becase winning is built by basic. And, i agreed with her, why? because she has more experience than me of course. In chinese there's a phrase, 不听老人言，吃亏在眼前。Meaning if you don't hear a word from 'an old folk' you will regret. And i don't want to be those person. So i must listen every advice that she or other profesional guys give me. And do it as they say. Therefore, winning or losing is not a matter for me to concern for now, is the matter of how i use the thenique with the right way.

So, my advice for myself, 'DON'T FENCE FOR WIN, FENCE FOR THE RIGHT WAY'

Feel Down

May 8th,

Today is my 6th day of training, got any improvement?
i think so, at least i didn't feel fatigue compare to last time,
but overall i still have many weakness need to improve,
my footwork, my strenght, the strategic of the game, and the list goes on.
Today i feel a bit down after the 'sparing' process,
maybe because i'm lost to other fencers,
i feel sorry to my friends like adam, edwin, amanda and jason,
they gave me a lots of good advice but i still lost the game,
i let them down, the only way to repay them is to improve my game or in other words, win the game.
losing will only make my hunger bigger, hunger for more training, and hunger for more wins.
I'm 21 now, consider old for an athlete,
so, i have to push myself because i wish i can represent sabah or malaysia for fencing.
Laura said pushing will get myself injured but, i don't have any choice.
So, i really wish my effort that put on fencing will get the result that i wish for.
Please...